Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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