p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.