**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.