Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing