I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.