here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
