I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
