mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
