Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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