I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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