Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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