You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
