you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
