Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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