Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize