i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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