If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
