you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
