if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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