The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
