I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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