Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
