the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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