We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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