I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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