i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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