why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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