i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
