My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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