Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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