1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize