yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
