I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
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don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Sorry my hands just texted you
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize