You work out of a Hotel?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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