Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
