By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
