Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
