a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
