I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
