if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
