Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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