just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
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Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
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Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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