well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
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Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
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my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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