i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
