im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
