that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
