and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
