separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
