Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
