I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
