His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
sex in a hospital.. check
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
