i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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