Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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