how can u be prego again
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
