areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
