Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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