C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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