I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
