Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
