one might say we're banned from that church
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
