Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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