I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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