we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
someone owes me an orgasm
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
