You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
