The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
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