six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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