was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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