I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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