Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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