Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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