I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
